An Orville Christmas
by 20fourseven
Summary: Yaphit has the Christmas spirit and wants to share the love. However not everyone is interested.


An Orville Christmas

Yaphit has the Christmas spirit and wants to share the love. However not everyone is interested.

Lieutenant Yaphit the Gelatinous Engineer aboard the Orville was 'oozing' his way along the corridor towards sick bay.

Being of a gelatinous nature, he had to 'ooze' as he had no legs or other appendages to enable him to move around.

He could of course extend a tendril to hold something when required, and it was at this very moment he was doing just that!

He was holding a sprig of Mistletoe and as the doors to sick bay opened he approached Dr Claire Finn and stretched himself to his absolute limit holding the mistletoe above her head.

"Mistletoe, you have to kiss me" he said.

Dr. Finn turned around and saw Yaphit 'standing' behind her with the mistletoe.

"Yaphit, what on earth are you doing?"

"It's a Christmas tradition on your world isn't it? I've been studying up."

"And just where did you find this information?"

"Lieutenants Molloy & LaMarr. They introduced me to an old Earth television programme called The Partridge Family. There was a little girl standing on a chair holding a sprig of Mistletoe in her hand and saying _Mistletoe, you have to kiss me._

"Fine!" Claire gave an exasperated sigh, "Where's your cheek? I don't want to kiss any other part of your anatomy."

"That's not what you said a few months ago when Darulio was on board, hmmm." If he had a face she was sure he'd be raising his eyebrows at her in a seductive way.

"That was not my fault! It was his damn pheromones that made me do it and you know that!"

"Just hurry up and kiss me already."

Claire gave him a quick peck on what she hoped was his cheek.

"There, happy now?"

Yaphit continued 'oozing' along the corridor and stopped outside Lieutenant Alara Kitan's quarters. He extended a tendril and pressed the 'door bell.'

"Come in, it's open." Alara said.

"Ahh, Lieutenant, it's Yaphit. Can I see you outside for a minute?"

He again stretched to what he thought was her height & held the mistletoe out.

When she appeared in the doorway he said.

"Mistletoe, you have to kiss me."

Alara had a confused look on her face. "Why? Oh wait, I remember. It's an earth tradition. I fell for it a few times when I was at the academy."

"Thanks for the trip down memory lane Lieutenant, now pucker up!"

"I think I'll pass."

"It's bad luck to refuse a kiss." Yaphit replied.

"Bad luck for you, not me."

Before Yaphit could reply, Isaac, the Orville's Kaylon Science Officer walked up to them.

"Pardon my intrusion Lieutenant, but I require your assistance with an urgent matter."

"Oh, certainly Isaac, sorry Yaphit, duty calls."

The two of them walked quickly away leaving Yaphit there shrinking back to his 'normal' size.

Alara laughed, "Thanks Isaac, you really saved my ass back there."

Isaac turned and looked back down the corridor. _Funny, he thought I didn't see any equine quadrupeds requiring assistance._

Undaunted by Alara's refusal, Yaphit continued 'oozing' down the corridor. He spotted Lt. Commander Bortus speaking with Commander Grayson. Once again he stretched himself to 'stand' taller than her.

"Mistletoe you have to kiss me"

Turning around, Commander Grayson said,

"Can it wait Yaphit? I'm needed on the bridge."

Disappointed, Yaphit replied. "Awww, okay."

Feeling a little disheartened by all his rejections, Yaphit 'oozed' his way to the Mess Hall to drown his sorrows. Upon entering he noticed the room was in darkness.

"Lights" he called out. The lights came on and the crew were all there and in unison they called out. "Mistletoe you have to kiss me!"

Yaphit noticed they were each holding a sprig of Mistletoe and since they were all taller than he, he had to kiss them all. Even the guys!

A quick peck on the cheek was all that was required and when he had finished, his lips were feeling a little chapped.

Bortus was puzzled. "I do not think I will ever get used to Earth customs."

Ed replied, "I'd rather that than play another game of Latchkum"

"But Captain, you won the game!"

Yaphit spoke up. "Gee guys, you really do care. Just wait 'til next year I have something really special lined up!"


End file.
